Memories
by Excessively Complex
Summary: In the depths of Azkaban, Bellatrix Lestrange remembers her relationship with her husband, Rodolphus Lestrange, and she realises that things aren't what they seem.


Bella was waiting for her husband longer then she should have had to. Fourteen years of imprisonment had gone to her head, not only because of not seeing her husband, but because she had no mirror to gaze into, to make sure she looked perfect, no Dark Lord to worship, and no sister to chastise. To her, they could have all been dead. She hadn't seen any of them for fourteen long years; in fact, she'd seen no one, except for her blood-traitorous cousin some years ago, entering.

Bella wasn't going to think about Sirius Black. She hated him more then she hated anyone else that walked the pathetic earth, and that was saying something, because she wasn't good with getting on with people that disagreed with her. She normally killed those people.

She thought this same thing everyday, just when the sun was rising. She often killed people at this time; she always liked to see their bodies bathed in beautiful red-gold morning sunlight, shining and rippling in the heat. So, she was reminded of these little things, with even smaller symbols of them. They weren't happy thoughts, they were thoughts of loathing and hatred, and so surrounded by the Dementer's; well, she kept them with no fight.

Nothing could scare the fearless Bellatrix Lestrange, except for maybe the Dark Lord. The way he scared her was different, it was an empty fear that she was used to, and it kept her going and made her respect him. At the end of meetings with him, Rodolphus used to put one arm around her shoulders, kiss the nose of her mask and make her leave before, in the mad devotion she possessed for her Master, would take over and make her say something ridiculous. Rodolphus, and the Dark Lord, both knew this, even if they kept it quiet from Bella to avoid her fiery outbursts. Then he'd whisper sweet things into her ear, trying to get him home for a passion filled evening as quickly as he could.

Bella remembered several more clearly then the others. Those were the memories that she remembered on a day when the Dementer's had other happier memories to suck away. She remembered this one the most. Staring at the ceiling, Bella watched the memory behind her eyelids like a moving and talking picture.

"_Bella," the tall man whispered into her ear. She stirred from her thoughts, and smiled at the man. Her husband was a handsome man; he had shining blue eyes, black hair, white face and a toned and muscular body. _

"_Come on, the meetings over love," Rodolphus told her quietly. Tearing her eyes away from the Dark Lord sitting imperiously on his Throne, reading some form of dark and dangerous magical book, she takes his hand and follows him from the room, where they apparate to their house. It wasn't a big house, just enough for them to live in utmost luxury without drawing too much attention to their house. _

"_The Dark Lord seems angry," Bella told her husband as they entered their bedroom. They spent most of their time together in here, it was the biggest room and they had their bed, naturally, and chairs and sofa's all around the room, as well as an open fireplace, bookshelf and table. _

"_He simply has a lot to think about. You would be the same, in his position." Rodolphus's other arm encircled his wife's thin form. "What is it, my love; that we always love to do after one of our meetings?" His hands were moving up her arms and neck, reaching towards her mask. Bella shivered. _

"_You remove my mask," she muttered, just as her husbands hands closed around the two edges of the mask, and pulled it gently off. The Dark Lord preferred to rip masks off, and it nearly always hurt a lot. That was something the Death Eater's never liked to mention to each other, because they knew it would only get worse. _

_Bella smiled, and tilted her head up to look at Rodolphus. She was truly beautiful, never needed any make up. That was one of the reasons why Rodolphus always used to respect her so much, she was lovelier then any other woman who was caked in make up. Rodolphus smiled right back, and turned his head to one side to gently kiss her on the lips. "And then?" he prompted. _

_Bella turned and walked towards the bed, removing her hat and cloak along the way. "You tell me how stunning I looked tonight," she said with a cheeky grin in his direction._

"_You looked stunning tonight, my love," Rodolphus told her, as he stepped over her clothing and stood next to the bed._

"_And then, you take off your cloak." Bella laid back on their bed like a Greek Goddess would, slowly, delicately, and perfectly, as her husband let his cloak fall softly to the ground. _

"_And then what do I do," Rodolphus asked, looking down at her with his head tilted to one side. He sat on the bed next to her and touched his finger to her moist lips. Bella sighed. _

"_You kiss me and tell me you love me," she whispered, allowing his finger into her mouth very slightly. Rodolphus leant over her body, with one hand either side of it, he replaced his finger with his lips. He felt his wife respond to him, put her arm around his back. He could feel her long nails clawing on the material to get a better grip. Rodolphus pulled back from her after a long while, gasping for breath. _

"_I love you," he said softly after a while._

"_I love you," Bella responded. "And I don't ever want to be parted from you."_

They were younger then, and far more naïve. They both knew it, but something was stopping them from forgetting that they were young, free and innocent. That was the problem; they really weren't any of those. They were limited in where they could go out now, people were starting to recognise them as Death Eaters, and they could easily get arrested, and just as Bella didn't want, they could get parted.

Bella let a tear fall down her cheek as she sat in Azkaban. She could feel the memory she'd just found slip away into the darkness of her cell, or down the Dementer's slimy throat. There were others. When she and Rodolphus had grown out of thinking they were going to live life murdering and torturing forever, and not ever have anything to worry about. They did. The Dark Lord was still strong, they were still loyal and happy fighting for his cause, that wasn't it. Bella could remember clearly just what the problem was.

_Rodolphus ducked the spell easily enough, but it had nearly got him. When they had got home, Bella had realised how close he'd been to getting killed. She threw herself sobbing into his arms in distress, breaking their usual routine. It had been the killing curse he'd so nearly been hit by. _

"_What's wrong Bella?" he asked her in concern, with his hands on her hair, stroking and soothing her best he could._

"_I think we've made a mistake," Bella whispered. "We could die Rodolphus!" Rodolphus didn't understand why she suddenly doubted this; they'd been Death Eaters for nearly all their lives. Had his near death encounter changed her thoughts? _

"_Bella, you mustn't say that, the Dark Lord could kill us if he thought-" _

"_This isn't about our loyalty!" Bella hissed in reply. "I'm as loyal as you are Rodolphus, and you know he would never kill either of us." Bella looked up at her husband, and for once, there was fear in her eyes. _

_Rodolphus leant forward and kissed her. "They won't kill me. Nothing can kill me. And they won't get you either Bella, because you're so strong and so perfect to me." He removed a strand of hair from her beautiful face._

Bella wished that was true. They had got both of them, and they'd lost, until the Dark Lord came for them. Bella tilted her stiff neck so she could see her dark mark under her frayed robes. She could see it. It was there. She stood up, and looked out of the window. Her knees cracked and her back ached, she'd been sitting down for so long.

This is what she'd done when Rodolphus got moved. She'd stood up to look out of the window, thinking that maybe she'd see people coming to rescue her. Bella's gaze fogged up as she saw the memory.

_Prisoners in Azkaban were allowed to share a cell with their husband or wife, as long as they never had any sexual contact with each other. It was a cold night; they were both shivering on the opposite sides of the cell. At almost the same time, they'd decided to move so they were closer to each other. It was a small source of comfort, and the Dementer's must have smelt some form of happiness because Bella had woken to find Rodolphus being wrenched from her body by them._

_She screamed. "Don't take him, don't take him!" she yelled over and over, as Rodolphus was dragged out struggling. "Rodolphus!" _

_Her husband was shouting similar things. Bella could slowly see his white face disappear down the black corridor. "I love you Bella, I'll always love you!" he yelled. Bella fell onto her knees screaming and sobbing, she knew she wasn't going to see him for a great many years. _

_When her tears had dried up, Bella stood up and walked to the window, thinking that maybe she'd see people coming to rescue her. Bella's gaze fogged up._

She blinked the tears away, and when she'd looked properly, she could see people slowly walking towards the Prison, through the mist. They were wearing long and billowing cloaks, and tall and pointy hats. Just as she used to.

"_You looked stunning tonight, my love," Rodolphus told her. _

They were Death Eaters.

Right in the middle, at the front of the formation was a very tall man, wearing the biggest cloak with no hat. His eyes were glowing red through the mist, and he was looking right at her.

"_This isn't about our loyalty! You know he'd never kill either of us!" _

The Dark Lord wasn't there after she'd blinked. She wasn't sure if she'd imagined it, but she heard the door opening behind her, and the red eyes were glowing again.

"My Lord," Bella said softly as she turned to face him. The Dark Lord gave a hint of a smile.

"Glad to see you again, my loyal Bella," he said, and beckoned her towards him. She stumbled, but recovered quickly. The Dark Lord placed his arm gently on her back, and turned her to face him. "Thank you for your years of loyalty," he whispered into her ear. "Loyalty such as yours will not go unrewarded."

"I don't want a reward, Master," Bella responded, looking up at him. "I want love."

The Dark Lord laughed softly into her ear. "Then your reward can be my love," he said quietly. "Consider it."

He turned and walked away, down the next corridor to the other Death Eaters. Bella tilted her head, ignoring the people surrounding her who were urging her to move along. She looked ahead down the darkest corridor, and then ran. A door ahead of her opened. Frozen, she thought it might be a Dementer.

It was her husband.

They stared at each other for a while.

_Her husband was a handsome man; he had shining blue eyes, black hair, white face and a toned and muscular body._

Her husband was now a changed man; he had dull grey eyes, faded hair, a gaunt face and he looked too thin.

This wasn't her husband anymore.

The tears emptied down her face, this wasn't the man she had loved nearly all of her life. Had the spark between them really died? Fourteen years of not seeing each other had changed them both, she'd been thinking about Rodolphus every minute of those fourteen years, trying to remember that happy yet burning emotion called love. She couldn't remember it now, after all those years of thinking she could.

The man tentatively spoke. "What's wrong Bella?"

"_What's wrong Bella?"_

"I think we've made a mistake," Bella replied, as the tears flowed freely and silently down her cheeks.

"_I think we've made a mistake."_

"You mustn't say that," Rodolphus said woodenly.

"_You mustn't say that."_

Two tears splashed simultaneously onto the floor, one from each Death Eater. They were grieving from the loss of love, love that was once so strong, and now didn't exist.

A long time later, Bella looked up, but he was gone.

Gone from her life, her heart, and her memories.

Bella was truly alone.


End file.
